preparing for baby: STILL waiting

Still pregnant.

Alternating between wild elation {ANY DAY NOW!!!} and depressed frustration {WHY is it taking so long to have this baby?!} on a day to day basis. Maintaining a stable emotional level is not as easy as one might think at 41 weeks of pregnancy. Even though, really, I know this little berry will come at just the right time, the uncertainty is still tough! Especially when we have to start talking about options for how to proceed next week. 41 weeks + 5 days is the unofficial birth center cut off.

Waiting is actually incredibly helpful: I’m so ridiculously excited about meeting this baby girl that I’ll be thrilled when labor starts, instead of nervously anticipating the pain ahead.

Greg used the expression “single parents” to refer to us recently, as in “This could be the last party we go to as single parents!” which I thought was hilarious, since we’re married… and it ended up being hard to describe our current state! Childless parents doesn’t work, because we kind of have a child, and a married couple is close, but technically we’ll always be a married couple… so we gave up and decided it doesn’t really matter anyway.

Ready for a quiet day tomorrow, savoring peaceful moments with my husband.

=)

I shall thank Adonai wholeheartedly, for I have completed nine months of pregnancy, and Adonai has thus far helped me and rescued me from evil mishaps that can strike a pregnant woman and her fetus. O Beneficent One, Whose compassions are never exhausted, I therefore beseech You for mercy that You sustain and support me when Raspberry comes to be born, and grant me strength when I give birth to her. Please Adonai! Sustain me that I may be saved, preserve me from sorrows, such that the baby emerge from me for peace, life, and relief. May there not be in her nor in any of her limbs any damage or deficit – neither mishap nor happenstance, neither illness nor affliction, neither pangs nor pain, neither plague nor sickness. Prepare milk in my breasts to nurse her, and grant me the favor of raising her for Your service and Your reverence. 

Adonai, hear my voice when I call, be gracious to me and answer me. Hear, Adonai, and favor me; Adonai, be my Helper! May the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, Adonai, my Rock and my Redeemer.

-Artscroll Ohel Sarah Women’s Siddur, p. 1005, my adaption

fourteenth week of married life

On a typical summer Friday afternoon, Greg is at his office finishing out the work week and I am at our home, preparing food & making sure the house is neat. He gets home around 6pm {sometimes with a bright bouquet of flowers for me} and we spend the next hour or so on personal projects: he takes care of any outstanding work for his social media clients while I look at a portion commentary like the Rabbi’s Son or write a quick torahgirl post. By 7.30pm we’re wrapping things up, I’m getting dinner on the table, and we’re sitting down for kiddush. I light the candles, Greg sings the Eshet Chayil [Proverbs 31], we remember creation, the exodus from Egypt, & the World to Come, and we bless G-d for the wine & bread. Shabbat dinner by ourselves always means hours of conversation. Occasionally we’ll have a lively discussion, perhaps a “hot-button” issue where we debate both sides, usually SOMEHOW related to raising children – one of our favorite topics. After dinner we’ll usually read a chapter from one of our current books-in-progress, concluding with more conversation as we catch up from the week and savor the peacefulness of time alone.

I like to think about our future children on Friday nights, wondering what they will be like and praying for them. This is an excerpt from my siddur:

Master of the world: grant us the privilege that our children be illuminated with the Word of G-d, and be healthy in body and in mind, possess good character traits, and be occupied in the Word of G-d for its own sake. Grant them a long and good life, and may they be filled with the Word of G-d, wisdom, and fear of Heaven. May they be beloved above and desired below. Rescue them from the evil eye, the evil inclination, and from all manner of punishments, and may they have healthy senses for Your service. In Your abundant mercy, make us worthy {my husband and I} that You fill the number of our days with many good and pleasant days and years, with love and peace. May we be privileged to raise each of our sons and each of our daughters for the Word of G-d, the bridal canopy, and good deeds.

Prepare for each of our sons the girl who is his mate, and for each of our daughters the boy who is her mate, and may they not be pushed away for others, Heaven forbid! Bless our handiwork to give them generous dowries and gifts, and may we be able to fulfill what we have obligated ourselves to give, and to marry them off in their youth to their mates with ease, satisfaction, and happiness. May good fruit emerge from them – righteous children who earn merit and give merit to all Israel.

May Your Holy Name not be desecrated through our efforts, nor through those of our offspring, Heaven forbid. Fulfill all our heartfelt requests for the good with health, success, and all good things, and may the glory of Your great Name and the glory of the Word of G-d be exalted through our efforts, and through the efforts of our offspring and of our offspring’s offspring. Amen, may it thus be Your Will.

May the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, Adonai, my Rock and my Redeemer. Amen.

The first few lessons in our “Messiah Unveiled” study have been about the Word of G-d. What is the Word of G-d? Is it the Bible, or something more? Can the Word be heard? Seen? Wasn’t the Word in the beginning, with G-d? Something to think about…

=)

PS: Greg arrived tonight with a mint plant for me, which he explained would be more useful than flowers because we can use it for cooking. And garnishes. And the occasional mint-flavored beverage. Shabbat shalom everyone!