Greg & Morgan, Married Life, Personal, Problems, Thoughts

the lost friendship

I’ve learned recently that friendships can’t be forced.

It’s been a tough lesson.

A few years ago I spotted a potential friendship, and set to work developing it into an amazing bond that would last for years and years. By “work,” I mean investing. I really made this one a priority. I liked this young woman very much, and she seemed to like me. I could picture our families growing together, raising children together, being there for each other and experiencing life together. I tried to be the best friend I could possibly be – available, generous, kind, thoughtful, understanding, and endlessly supportive.

Well, it failed. Miserably.

Apparently, our personalities are different. Before this experience, I thought such a small difference could easily be overcome. Now, I’m not so sure. She and I can’t seem to communicate – it’s like we’re speaking different languages. I give a compliment, she takes offense. I speak with sincerity, she senses deception. I make conversation, she feels interrogated. Somehow, my good motives appear bad.

Why is this??

I wish I knew. The experience has shaken me. Even now, months down the road, my mind spins with hurt and bewilderment when I try to pinpoint what went wrong. How could I fail at something like friendship – it seems so simple and straightforward. I’m surprised how sad I feel about the situation. Like any breakup, the repercussions of rejection are painful.

Life goes on, and I try to be mature about everything – happy and excited for my pseudo-friend’s family, enthusiastically agreeing when others describe how wonderful she is, and maintaining a polite social media presence. Meanwhile, Gregory and I have stepped back, taken a deep breath, and focused our energy on friendships that will build us up, not tear us down. Still, a tiny part of me mourns for the friendship that never was.

=)

“…Everything that happens to us in life is the product of {God’s} will and personal intervention in our lives…”
-Rabbi Shalom Arush

Baby, Married Life, Problems, Thoughts

being challenged

It was only a few weeks ago that our angelic, well-behaved toddler “tested the waters” of defiance by looking at me and saying NO when I asked her to put something away. She stated her point more strongly by tossing the toy on the ground and moving several steps away. I remember the moment clearly because I got a rush of adrenaline. “I have to win this battle!” I thought to myself, shocked at the possibility of losing control of my daughter already, picturing a giant F next to my name as a parent.

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Married Life, Thoughts

a weekly interlude

We are commanded to rest one day out of seven. For men, this is especially significant. My husband works hard the other six days in the week, either at his office or around the house, so the seventh day is distinctive for him.

I was thinking about my “work” the other day. I work at home. Not from home, but at home. This house, and the little people who live here, are my work. As a wife and mother, it’s hard for me to completely set aside the seventh day as a day of rest when many of my responsibilities are no different – changing a dozen diapers, putting food on the table for my family, cleaning up meals, occupying the children, getting out toys/putting away toys… sometimes it doesn’t seem restful, it seems like the daily grind.

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Baby, Greg & Morgan, Married Life

not one but two

In our family, we’ve found that the test of a father comes with the second child. When we only had one baby, Gregory was involved, but his responsibilities were limited, while my main job was caring for Sophia. I had warned him this would change when Zoe was born, and we’d have to ‘double up,’ each taking one of the girls at times. The transition has been seamless – so amazingly graceful that only when I stop to observe where we are do I realize how my husband has jumped into a new role with enthusiasm. In just the two months Zoe has been alive, Gregory has changed hundreds of Sophia’s diapers… put in countless ponytails and bobby pins… and become an expert at mealtimes, a ready and willing helper when I need a hand in the kitchen. He wakes Sophia up in the morning and gets her ready for bed at night. He’s developed a few new traditions, including a teeth-brushing routine she looks forward to every night.

Bottom line: my husband is a great dad. The leap from one child to two has reinforced our commitment to each other and to our family.

=)

Greg & Morgan, Married Life, Personal

spoiled

You’re probably thinking the title refers to one of my sweet baby girls. I’m actually talking about myself! I have a spouse who could be described as “steady,” which means he scrubs the bathtub for me and hangs up his own clothes. Today he took on a challenge which would leave many men shaking in their boots – watching two children under two years old for two hours, while sending me out to some of my favorite stores with an {almost} unlimited expense account. Needless to say, I am one happy girl right now. {grin} Here is a HUGE thank you to my very thoughtful husband!

=)

Baby, Married Life, Personal, Thoughts

expecting

There’s a reason I haven’t posted much this year…

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Her name, for now, is Strawberry Bartos, and we expect her arrival in 3-4 weeks. It’s been a wonderful pregnancy, though it’s starting to become a bit of a challenge to keep up with Sophia Ruth these days!  My Sophia is eighteen months old, and at times she behaves like a precocious toddler… other times she’s just a baby who wants to be snuggled and kissed.

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I am very, very eager to meet my second daughter. I’ve thought many times about how our first meeting will go. My favorite opening line goes like this: “Hi there. I don’t think we’ve been introduced. My name is Mommy.” 

The days when Gregory and I were the parents of just one child are rapidly running out. With the birth of our newest pink berry, we’ll have “the Girls.” I’ll take the girls to the store. We’ll put the girls to bed. Right now it’s still hard to imagine. The only thing we know is they’ll be close in age – appearance and personality are a delightful mystery!

I didn’t plan {if there was ever a plan} that my girls would be this close in age. I had pictured another year or two with Sophia and I enjoying life in our Beetle. But for me, there’s something about the excitement of being blessed with a child, with the ability to conceive and carry one, that removes any doubts about the timing. During this pregnancy, two of my sweet friends lost babies, one very early on and the other a few months farther along. It makes me cry just to type that… and makes this new baby girl even more precious to me.

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