Update 5.20.11

So. We’ve had our second “monthly honeymoon” now… more to think about! It became very obvious this month that continuing to hug {etc.} without actually kissing is not a sustainable practice. It’s not that our resolve to this path is weakening, or we’re tempted to push the boundaries – not at all. But once or twice I went to kiss Greg, totally forgetting which week it was… and that’s concerning. The brain can’t seem to handle such an abrupt change. The usual “fence” for family purity {in order not to break the commandment of no intimacy} is not touching at all – and I think we’re rapidly moving toward there.

Speaking of which, the terrific guys at Men Of Torah just finished an EXCELLENT class on this subject! Greg Upham gave a {lengthy} presentation that thoroughly covers the Scriptural basis for taharat mishpachah and normal Orthodox standards. If you get a chance to hear the audio recording {class #32}, I highly recommend it. I listened to it myself yesterday while cleaning my house and baking cookies. {grin}  

It’s so easy to be absolutely miserable spending a week “apart” from your husband, but still living in the same house. This time was actually harder than last month {and I thought it would get easier!}, perhaps because we are growing closer as the months go by. The separation is inevitable – it’s a regular routine – but my reaction is up to me… and this month I really failed. I felt lonely, sad, frustrated… even rejected. The right response is to remember and embrace this concept:

In addition to sanctifying their marital life, the monthly period of separation allows the couple to work on and enhance their verbal and communication skills, their soul connection, so that their relationship is never reduced to a mere physical connection.

Easy to say, SO hard to do. {sigh} Baruch HaShem for next month… another chance to improve! Better planning would help, I think. Setting the week apart by postponing social activities and using the time for introspection + spiritual growth is one of my goals. Coming up with activities to “enhance [our] verbal and communication skills” would be good too! Right now, perhaps because of Mr. Upham’s class and the recent discussions we’ve had, I feel strangely encouraged about everything. We will make it work. I love this mitzvah… in fact I find it slipping into conversation quite frequently! {right, Emily?}

There was one other thing about this month… when we finally did kiss, it was absolutely electric. It truly felt like our first kiss, which amazed me! {wow} I think I caught a glimpse of what taharat mishpachah should be like. {grin}




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