11.3.11

My second prenatal visit at Carolina Community Maternity Center {CCMC} was last Wednesday, and this is probably a good time to bring you all up to date on our decision about a care provider! We have chosen to work with a midwife at CCMC and deliver Raspberry there, B”H. After carefully evaluating all the facts, seeking guidance from family, and asking direction from G-d, we are confident this is the best option for us.

I am still getting to know Leigh {my midwife}, but so far we have had two excellent visits. She is friendly and down-to-earth in a calm, capable way… reminding me a little bit of my Aunt Tina because she is extremely level-headed and basically knows all the answers. {grin} Leigh is also impressively prompt with emails. Here is a recent exchange:

Me: Leigh, I’ve been told I should be drinking a gallon of water each day. Is this true?  That seems like a lot. Wouldn’t it depend on the size of a person? Help!

Leigh: A gallon a day!  That’s quite the overstatement!  Half a gallon a day is plenty, and that’s assuming you aren’t getting much fluid otherwise.  My advice is to carry water with you at all times and drink whenever you get thirsty.  When you drink something, try to make it water as often as possible.  Never quench your thirst with a sugary drink.  (If you want to sip on something sweet, do it after you’ve drunk water, so you’re not tempted to take too much.)  All the liquid in your diet contributes to your overall hydration, so things like fruits and veggies and soups may decrease the amount of water you need.  Of course different body sizes have different needs, and any one-size-fits-all recommendation is not going to be exact.  Listen to your body.  Don’t over-hydrate because of numbers.  Drink lots of water, but because it feels good to do so, not to meet an arbitrary level.

See? Excellent common sense. {grin}

At the visit last week, we talked about the standard glucose test for gestational diabetes and ended up deciding to skip the test because it is extremely unlikely that I have gestational diabetes. This is what I like about midwives: flexibility, not “by the book” mentality.

=)

10.25.11

WE’RE HAVING A GIRL!!!

The ultrasound experience last night was wonderful! We went to 3D Dreams in Baxter Village, Fort Mill {recommended by my midwife, Leigh Fransen}, and the two ladies there were SO friendly. They are 99% sure little Raspberry Bartos is a girl. {grin} So it turns out we have a pink berry after all.

We watched our daughter move around, stretch her arms up, open her mouth… we heard her heartbeat… it was truly amazing! To think we were seeing inside the womb – what a miracle of technology. The images were so clear it almost felt like we could reach out and touch her.

After the ultrasound we visited both our families to share the news with them {plus a bunch of pictures} and celebrate – first a stop in Fort Mill to visit Greg’s mom and sister, and then over to Matthews to see my family {including Julianna’s fiancé, who was -not surprisingly- there as well}. My sisters had come up with an idea to “toast” to the baby, using… toast! And really, nothing beats crisp toast with butter + raspberry jam and hot tea as an evening snack. {grin} They also gave us our first PINK item, a tiny bib from Life is Good!

Now –> to come up with the perfect name. Yes, we are taking suggestions. So far we have received “Josephina,” from my mom, which may have been a joke.

=)

10.24.11

The other day Greg was talking about how he used to paint his sister’s nails when she was a toddler, and I had a sudden fear that he was picturing tiny red or purple fingernails on Raspberry {should she turn out to be a girl}… so I hastily double-checked that we were on the same page when it comes to raising a little girl. We’ve agreed to avoid these things in the first few years of our daughter’s life:

{simply our preferences, no criticism to anyone feeling differently}

1. nail polish
2. Barbies
3. pierced ears
4. TV
5. Disney
6. gluten {grin}

TBC…

=)

PS: check back tomorrow morning for the results of our ultrasound! It’s tonight at 7pm. {!!!}

10.23.11

Halfway! Today is 20 weeks… the approximate midway point. {YAY!}

I’m feeling great! {this is a commonly asked question} Aside from some mild nausea and fatigue in the first trimester, this has been a wonderfully easy pregnancy so far. Perhaps the fun part is over and it will start getting tough now. {grin}

FINALLY felt a kick! We officially have movement. {grin} What an amazing sensation… starting to notice Raspberry’s little sleep patterns.

Getting dressed is becoming increasingly tricky… I prefer my clothes to be well-fitting and tailored properly, especially since I am petite {5′}, and that’s just not possible anymore. Plus, it’s a strange feeling to be steadily growing out of everything I owned previously… but the excitement of a developing baby outweighs any potential concerns. I’ve been blessed with a pretty good selection of maternity clothes {from various sources}, and as we approach the 5-month mark I am finally getting to wear some of them!

=)

10.19.11

Got a stroller! We found the cutest Peg Perego Pliko P3, barely used, on Craigslist… in a cheerful, eye-catching color. It was a fantastic deal and we are so happy with it!

During the process of acquiring it we realized that a stroller will never fit in the trunk of my Beetle, even {unfortunately} the most slim of umbrella strollers. But we were able to fold this one up compactly and fit it in the backseat pretty easily. When it comes to VW’s, what more can we ask for?

The stroller is being stored in our coat closet for now. Getting it + the baby up and down a flight of stairs is going to be a fun challenge, I think!

10.12.11

So. I am 18 ½ weeks pregnant. {!!} At this early stage…

• We own 1 small yellow outfit, one cardboard baby book {appropriately titled “Hug Hug”}, one massive crib, one baby bottle, one stuffed monkey, two teething toys, two cases {?} of diapers, three irresistibly soft teddy bears, and nine pregnancy/childbirth books.
• I have had two prenatal visits, both with midwives – one at Piedmont GYN/OB in Ballantyne and one at Carolina Community Maternity Center in Fort Mill – both indicating that this pregnancy is textbook perfect {baruch HaShem}.
• Our ultrasound is less than two weeks away, on Monday the 24^th at 7pm {when we’ll find out if Raspberry is a pink berry or a blue berry, as they say}.
• Yes, I am “showing” and no, there haven’t been any strangers wanting to touch my belly. {grin}
• We are starting to shop for a stroller and carseat. TOO MANY CHOICES.
• Sadly, I have not felt any kicks yet. Apparently the berry is a calm, peaceful baby who enjoys sleeping and will rarely be whiny or fussy.
• Next year at this time, Raspberry will be 7 months old. Amazing!

=)

10.11.11

Raspberry will be born in 2012 when I am 25 {my first child}.
I was born in 1986 when my mother was 25 {her first child, a girl}.
My mother was born in 1961 when her mother was 24 {her first child, a girl}.
My maternal grandmother, of blessed memory, was born in 1937 when her mother was 17 {her first child, a girl}.

We notice two things from this analysis: 1) the trend of ‘getting-older-when-having-kids;’ and 2} the women in my family tend to have girls first. {grin}

=)

10.10.11

{happy} things recently:

-Raspberry is about 5 inches long!
-an afternoon spent with Aunt Laura {hug}… so sweet of her to take an interest in my pregnancy & visit my little home for the first time!
-the conclusion of our 6-week ethics series, with a special guest for the final one – my grandfather was here for our discussion on fair use & copyright {what an honor!}. These evenings have been educational + motivational… very enjoyable! A big thank you to everyone who participated & shared their insights with us.
-the opportunity to host Greg’s Aunt Julie & Uncle Jim {from NJ} for brunch and get to know them a little better. They came with a perfect gift – our first baby outfit!! Yellow, of course. {grin} We had a fantastic time with the Ellers and hope to visit them next summer {which would be Raspberry’s first road trip!}.
-a fun pregnancy research project with the help of my sisters. {wink} They made the most adorable snack for me – miniature muffins with raspberries in the center… a very appropriate {& tasty!} joke, because my nickname used to be “muffin,” and the baby is a raspberry. {grin} So creative!
-a kick-off to the new year with the ladies of Bella Torah… all the elements of a cozy evening: wine {sparkling pomegranate juice for me}, yummy snacks, & good discussion.

=)

10.7.11

Raspberry & I are observing Yom Kippur tonight and tomorrow. We will not be fasting, but we’ll spend the day with Greg in prayer, focusing on repentance and G-d’s mercy.

It’s been a tough week… Raspberry lost a great-grandmother Monday morning, without ever having the chance to meet her. As a family we have been participating in mourning my grandmother’s loss during this week of sitting shiva. So the year begins on a sorrowful note… but we thank G-d for the blessing of life – both the 78 years Helena Squicciarini spent on this earth and the new life growing inside me.

=)

9.28.11

Tonight begins our new year! {hug} to our friends and family… we wish you a sweet & prosperous year ahead.

{I am calling this the year of the raspberry}

=)

9.19.11

Went to my first childbirth class tonight! All about stretching and strength-building. This one is the first in a 3-part series at Presbyterian Hospital. It was a great workout! I came home full of renewed baby excitement and anticipation about the next few months.

Chris & Susannah gave us an adorable card which says “babies are a blessing from the L-rd… remember that at 3am” and I keep thinking what an important concept that is! I almost want to frame the card. {wink} Through all the little frustrations, annoyances, and struggles of raising children, isn’t it all about seeing the big picture? The gratefulness + love I feel now is what I want to hold on to as we face the challenges of becoming parents.

Note: have not felt my baby move yet… {sigh} but hoping it will happen soon!

=)

9.16.11

This was a week of books! I was given seven in the last few days from two generous ladies: my 7-months pregnant girlfriend Daneen Gimson {including the classic “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”} and my funny, hospitable friend Cindy Garner {finally, a baby name book! Yay!}. Have had to make a baby shelf on the bookcase because there are so many resources now… very happy to have new reading material!

Plus, I picked up a book from the library, recommended by yet another pregnant friend, called “Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care.” Eek. Pushed will have you running as far {and as fast} from a hospital as you can. I finished it yesterday {quite the pageturner} and can’t wait to go over the information with Greg.

In other news, we’ve christened our baby Raspberry for the time being. Obviously, every baby needs a name, even if it’s just an interim name until birth. We picked this one for three – no, four – excellent reasons:

1. It’s cute and, contrary to popular opinion, unisex {fruits don’t have genders}.
2. A picture which inspired the first couple months of my pregnancy…
   
3. I’ve been craving raspberries, to the point where we’ve had boxes of fresh berries, raspberry yogurt, raspberry salad dressing, raspberry smoothies, caffeine-free raspberry tea, raspberry coffee cake, and healthy dairy free raspberry cheesecake. Oh, and I just got a nail polish called Razz-berry. So it’s kind of our baby theme. {grin}
4. According to the Scripture, children are “fruit of the womb.” So how appropriate!

Examples of use:

• This week, Raspberry is about the size of an apple.
• We are praying Raspberry will be a strong healthy baby.
• Raspberry attended the Ignite Charlotte event with me Tuesday night!

Having a name has really added personality to the baby. Basically, we’re loving this time in our lives and making it fun!

=)

9.12.11

A big question so far has been where to have the baby. I’ve tried to fully consider the options and talk them over with Greg so we could make the best, most informed decision about our baby’s birth.

There seem to be three major choices…

1)   Hospital {the traditional route}

Mums and I went on a “parent tour” at CMC Pineville {the former Mercy South} last Tuesday night. The maternity section of this hospital is absolutely beautiful. The rooms are more hotel than hospital, complete with private patios, DVD players, flat-screen TVs, Murphy beds {to hold an extra person}, Jacuzzi tubs, room service, and pretty + soothing décor. It’s a comfortable and appealing place, but my concerns are about the pressure to conform to hospital norms {for instance, the standard procedures after a birth, like vitamin K drops, erythromycin, and possible hepatitis shots for the baby}. I haven’t researched these procedures extensively, but I’m already hesitant about them.
However, it seems possible to enter the hospital prepared with a clear plan and not encounter any objections to our wishes.

2)   Birth Center {creative alternative}

Around the beginning of August I visited the Carolina Community Maternity Center in Fort Mill, SC. Although it looks like a normal business office from the outside, the center is cozy and well-stocked when you get inside. The women here were some of the friendliest I’ve met so far! Their practice allows you to choose a midwife, have personal appointments with her during the entire pregnancy, and then meet her at the center to deliver your baby. They are entirely geared toward natural births, using their skill + experience to help each woman meet this goal. I suppose the obvious potential drawback to delivering without a doctor present is “what if something goes wrong?” Of course the center is fully prepared {they do emergency transports to CMC Pineville if necessary}… but because this is my first baby, I have no idea what to expect! If it were a subsequent child, and I knew what the birth process was like, I think I’d be very happy using this center.
One of the biggest benefits is that the midwives have a close relationship with each of their clients, resulting in care + trust on both sides. And I love their natural approach! They have a fantastic track record of strong, healthy babies with minimal delivery problems.

3)   Home Birth {other end of the spectrum}

A home birth… is not for me. Not that I have anything against them! I think having a baby at home is terrific, and I admire the brave women who choose this option. But if you know me, you’d probably agree it’s not the right choice for me. {grin}

We still haven’t made a final decision… though there really isn’t a hurry to finalize anything yet anyway. I’ve called both places to ask a few questions, we’ve compared cost/insurance, and our families have shared their opinions {hospital, unanimously}. Thoughts? Advice?

=)

9.9.11

I went to the grocery store today, to pick up a few extra things for the weekend, and gleefully parked in the “Expectant Mothers” spot for the first time!

A bunch has happened this week, but I just haven’t made time to write about it yet. Probably Sunday morning I’ll do a catch-up post. Totally forgot to mention a week or so ago someone {my new friend Amelia} said I had ‘the pregnant glow’ {grin}… which I hope is true! I feel like the excitement alone should be radiating from me.

As this week draws to a close, I find myself in possession of diapers {already!}, adorably thoughtful gifts from two generous ladies – my MIL Jeannine Bartos and my dear friend Beverly Hergenreter. {We also now have two teething toys. At this rate the house will be filled long before the baby’s here!} {grin}

=)

9.5.11

Greg & I spent a delightful day together, with an important baby update – we got a crib!! The Martins, a family from Bella Torah & long-time friends of the Squicciarini’s, brought us one which they no longer need for their own children {thank you!}. So we are now the happy owners of a beautiful Bassett crib, and after assembling it this afternoon, have been marveling at the size + sturdiness thereof. It shouts “BABY” whenever we enter the room. {grin} I love it! Can almost picture our baby sleeping there…

=)

9.4.11

Last night’s ethical discussion centered around abortion, with some pretty tough questions. For example:

Ann, who suffered from bone marrow cancer, needed a transplant and found only one matching donor: her pregnant sister Leah. In order to perform the procedure without endangering Leah’s life, an abortion was needed. Whose life takes precedence?

Hard enough already. But then we personalized the example…

Julianna, who suffered from bone marrow cancer, needed a transplant and found only one matching donor: her pregnant sister Morgan. In order to perform the procedure without endangering Morgan’s life, an abortion was needed. Whose life takes precedence?

All I could think was how awful it would be to face a decision like that – to watch a sister die and know you could have saved her, or give up a precious baby… May we be preserved from such a heartbreaking situation.

=)

8.31.11

You know that phrase “bun in the oven?” As in, “did you hear Morgan has a bun in the oven?” I was thinking the other day it’s a surprisingly good analogy! Buns and babies both change size {rising/growing}… and the fact that they’re both inside where you can’t touch them… looking through the oven door to check your bun is kind of like an ultrasound… and poking it with a toothpick could be related to amniocentesis, I suppose…

Anyway, what struck me most was the time factor. Baking requires patience, because no matter how much you want that cookie or fresh-from-the-oven piece of bread, it’s still going to take a set amount of time. The same, of course, with babies. 9 months seems like a long time to wait for a baby. I never realized before how l.o.n.g. that is… almost a year! {sigh} I can see the benefits: a HUGE build-up of anticipation, plenty of time to prepare logistically, and the chance to mull over other important considerations {like finding the right name}.

But… there’s still 6 1/2 months to go! I am already getting a little impatient. Just a tiny bit. {grin} Knowing, all the while, that G-d’s timing is perfect. He already knows exactly which day this baby will be born! Amazing… and just another part of the bubbly excitement of having a child.

=)

8.29.11

Had an appointment with Piedmont GYN/OB in Ballantyne this morning. {raises eyebrows} Interesting. This was my very first visit to a gynecologist… enough said. {grin} This particular group was recommended because they are a mix of about 10 doctors and 6 midwives. I met with one of the midwives this morning, Janet Floyd, and loved her! She took the time to thoroughly answer my questions about the whole process of working with their office. Thinking everything over now… still faced with a decision of where to deliver.

Mental note: bring book, laptop, & lunch to the next 9am appt… {prepared to spend hours in a waiting room}

Two major highlights of today:

1} a totally unexpected surprise at my appointment this morning – I got to hear my baby’s heartbeat!!! WOW. There are no words to describe the experience of audible proof that a life is growing inside you. It was so thrilling, just amazing… and of course I started crying. {grin} Already I feel so much love for this baby.

2} the chance to visit a bunch of my friends at Highland Capital Brokerage, in the Ballantyne Corporate Park! What a pleasure to see some familiar faces and briefly catch up with them. The Highland staff has always been so kind to me. {hug}

=)

8.25.11

I’ve neglected to mention our current houseguest… my grandparents’ toy poodle {Daisy} came to stay with us about 2 weeks ago. My grandfather assured me this experience would be good practice in taking care of a child. {GRIN} For those of you who know I’m not much of a dog person {as in, I don’t go near them}, can you believe this?! We’ve been so impressed with Daisy… she is the most well-behaved dog I’ve ever been around – quiet, neat, cheerful, and fun-loving! The only slight downside, to me, has been the dog smell… I am super sensitive to smells these days {but she came with her own perfume, a Bath & Body Works freesia body splash, and that has helped a little -grin-}. Daisy is the first dog to totally win me over… the way she wags her tiny tail is really irresistible. She goes home next Tuesday morning, and I have to say the apartment is going to seem a lot more empty without her following me around.

=)

8.24.11

check out my new page, baby faq’s! I’ll add more questions as I get them.

Feeling great this week! Sipping green tea, taking walks, & eating frequent healthy snacks… starting to rebound from the first trimester fatigue/nausea. YAY! My prenatal nutritionist {@blind_fryer} has me tracking my food intake carefully, so she can ensure I’m getting the proper nutrients.

Vista Park had one of their resident functions tonight, a back-to-school party, and Greg was working late, so I was on my own, but I ended up having a long and insightful conversation with a woman who just recently moved in! Surprisingly, we touched on a variety of deep subjects… unusual for today’s societal norm of merely superficial interaction. Most enjoyable!

Have not gone to the doctor yet… working through my list of options. So far I’ve visited one place, which I’ll post about in more detail later.

=)

8.21.11

Tonight wraps up a week-long celebration of Greg’s birthday… we’re on our way to Cowfish in Southpark for a birthday dinner with his parents. I can’t wait! No sushi though… I’ve read plenty of times that pregnant women shouldn’t have “raw or undercooked seafood.” {sigh} I’m thinking a spinach salad with strawberries…

We {well, the 3 of us} went down to the DMV this week and renewed our licenses. I was updating the name & address on mine, and Greg had to apply for a new NC driver’s license {he moved from SC when we got married}. It was fun going together! Especially since the minimum wait time at a Charlotte DMV is about an hour. {uhh} Our new licenses should be here in a week or so… hopefully with decent photos of us both!

Accomplished this past week:
-visited cute children’s consignment store in Matthews, checked out their selection of baby stuff
-shopped maternity clothes online, everywhere from British designer Isabella Oliver {LOVE} to Craigslist
-researched midwives in the greater Charlotte area, came up with a few new possibilities
-had 2nd class with Mary, learned that my baby is the size of a lime {aww!}
-made fun pregnancy plans with Christine for this winter!

off to dinner…

=)

8.17.11

Yay for a new day!

So. In answer to a FAQ, we found out about a month ago. I wanted to wait until almost 3 months, just in case anything happened before then. Plus, my mom has always said that 9 months is a long time for people to be interested in a pregnancy. {grin}

About two weeks ago, we started telling our relatives the news! We had the chance to tell the extended Bartos family in person {while visiting TN} and we called/emailed the rest. The farthest people seem to be the most excited… I’ve had some enthusiastic phone calls, emails, and even an adorable greeting card from our long-distance relatives in NY & NJ.

My grandparents were also absolutely delighted. It’s been one of my prayers over the past year that my grandfather would be able to see his great-grandchildren. This is the start of a new generation – a big event for any family!!

Now I’m 11 weeks pregnant and the whole world knows. Even Greg’s co-workers at CCC, thanks to Facebook. {grin} Moving forward…

=)

8.16.11

What a tough day… emotional roller coaster.

Got a “correction” this morning, a Biblical reproof, and for the first time {since finding out I was having a baby} started doubting myself… will I be a good mother? How can I raise a child if I still have so far to go? Completely fell apart… admittedly an overreaction, but I am extra-emotional right now to begin with. {Seriously. One sad song on the radio, and I’m a puddle.}

Then tonight, kind of an ongoing drama. One of those ‘lulled-into-a-sense-of-security-thinking-everything’s-ok’ but then no, it’s not. Did my best to take action and gain reconciliation… efforts that were mostly successful. One thing is sure: I’m on good terms with my sister-in-law {SIL}, which always makes me happy.

Exhausted… ready for tomorrow and a fresh start.

=)

8.15.11

yummy things today…

1. fresh banana-oat cookies from Christine & Mary {out of this world!}
2. Greg’s first 2011 birthday celebration… in true Squicciarini style
3. SUPER excited phone call from Susannah Wine {<3!}
4. baby chat with Lori Burroughs @ Trader Joe’s {including the big question: VW + car seat = ??}
5. offer of a crib from TheMartins… going to check it out next week
6. planning session: “how to make the most of our space” with inspiration from the new IKEA catalog {6 people living in a one-bedroom apartment? No problem! Leave it to the Swedes.}

=)

it’s official…

I’m pregnant!! We made the big announcement at Bella Torah yesterday… finally! It was so exciting to tell everyone. Greg & I are thrilled! We are expecting our baby next March {a long time from now}, right after our 1-year anniversary. It wasn’t really planned, but what perfect timing! {grin}

So I’ve decided to blog the pregnancy… as you might have guessed. I was ready to take this blog in a slightly different direction anyway! I’m thinking shorter, more frequent updates… easily post-able & readable. Ready to join me on the new adventure of having a baby?!

=)

Update 8.3.11

hello! torahgirl is back after a brief hiatus…  thoroughly enjoying my first married summer. {grin}

Greg & I went out to Crossville TN last week and spent a few days with his extended family. They’re big golfers… which is a whole new world to me. The Bartos clan has this mini-reunion every year, and last year was my first time {Greg’s family took me along to meet the relatives}. Noticed there is a huge difference between traveling while engaged and taking a trip as a married couple… almost like kids vs. adults. {grin}

The family rents two side-by-side villas, so we got our own beautiful room and had some fantastic quiet mornings together. One day we drove into town and had a picnic lunch at Stonehaus Winery, followed by a chance to see the world’s 10th largest treehouse {according to the local woman at Stonehaus}… it was amazing! Absolutely huge – about seven stories high. Another day Greg played golf, and I rode along in the cart, occasionally attempting, since the incredibly generous Bartos relatives gave me my own left-handed set of clubs {!}, to hit the tiny ball with a long stick… conscious of the irony in my efforts at the game known as “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden.”

So now life continues blissfully as usual. This week is 5 months of marriage! We’ve settled into a peaceful routine of interacting frequently with both our families, regularly opening our home to friends, managing our finances, and cherishing time together. These are all ways G-d has blessed us: He has placed us close to our families, surrounded us with wonderful people, provided for all of our needs, and made us for each other… baruch HaShem!

=)

Update 7.14.11

Mums insisted on making a birthday dinner for me last Wednesday, and somehow the plan expanded into a whole afternoon of poolside fun as well {complete with lemon thyme cucumber flavored water – yummy & refreshing!}. Once Greg arrived, we had white sangria & baked feta cheese followed by grilled grouper with a butter rum sauce + mango quinoa + veggie kabobs… amazing! I am so very grateful to my family for their overwhelming generosity – they worked hard to give me a perfect day, excellent dinner, and terrific presents – all in all pretty much my favorite birthday. {grin} I feel absolutely showered with love and affection.

The many expressions of gift-opening:

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Now that we are up to almost 20 weeks of marriage, I think it is time to stop counting in weeks. {grin} However, I’ll probably continue occasional updates until it’s time to take this blog in a different direction. {foreshadowing… wink}

I’ve neglected to mention the last 2 monthly honeymoons… an accidental oversight. At the beginning of June, my husband participated in Greg Upham’s class on taharat hamishpachah, and came home telling me that we would be moving to the Orthodox method of calculation {anywhere from 11-14 days, depending on the cycle}. “But seven days was already hard for us,” I responded in horror. My suggestion, which seemed like a reasonable compromise, was that we would stick with our predetermined 7-day system for now and gradually move to a more strict halachah over the remainder of the year. I am quite proud of Greg that he did not give in to my “logical arguments” {=whining} and stuck to what he thought was right for us.

So… that month was pretty tough, as you can imagine. Basically the entire time was an ongoing discussion about our practice and how it would work. At first it seemed way out of balance, a tradition gone overboard {at the strictest level, taharat hamishpachah can mean not touching your spouse ‘at all’ for 2 weeks out of every month – half your married life}. After so many hours of going back and forth about it, I thank G-d for bringing us to a peaceful conclusion by the end of it. We chose to use the Orthodox time frame, yet differentiate between clean and unclean days in regard to our interaction with each other. The “honeymoon” is even more of a big deal now because we wait longer for it! And, let me tell you, the first kiss is still electric. Literally, there are sparks. {grin!}

I did notice again that it is tempting to resent the cycle itself {and therefore the One Who created it}. After the monthly honeymoon, the feeling of being “one” is overwhelming – emotional closeness, not just physical intimacy {this euphoria is probably what most would term being in love, though that would be a misunderstanding – love is constant, not turned on and off like a light switch, and not communicated only through physical touch}. As the month goes on, there’s almost a dread that the days are coming to an end… soon we’ll be separate again. When that time does come, it’s like being ripped apart. I have to remind myself that G-d Himself designed the rhythm of marriage. And if the goal is to build a dynamic, devoted, unshakeable marriage – it’s working! {grin} Greg & I love each other more every day… confident that we were meant to be together.

It occurs to me that the intensity of these emotions surrounding family purity is perhaps similar to what we should feel for Shabbat: longing for it to start and sorrowful as it draws to a close, as I do for the time of “togetherness” in my marriage.

=)

4 Months & a Birthday!

Thank you to my family + friends for the texts, emails, and facebook posts – you’ve made this a VERY happy birthday!!! {hug}

~

The title pretty much says it… we’ve been married for 4 months today, and it’s my birthday. {yay!} Both significant occasions, though in my mind the birthday pales in comparison to the anniversary. Marriage is constant; birthdays are once a year. {grin}

4 months has flown by! But time is always flying by. {it would be quite extraordinary to hear “4 months? Seems like 4 YEARS. Days have never crept by so slowly.“} The past month hasn’t brought many changes… still enjoying the newly married bliss. Our conversations have shifted a level deeper: instead of “what did you do today?” or “maybe it’s time to rearrange the bookshelf again?” we’ve moved to “is it possible to foster creativity in children while maintaining an educational structure?” and “how can we better understand the oneness of G-d and His Name?” I’m seeing the importance of growing together in knowledge, especially when it comes to theology: we learn/study separately each week {Greg at the tzadik class, moi at Friday morning Bible study}, and without comparing notes + talking things over, we’d end up on totally different pages.

Had an unusual experience last week, a perfect example of “Your steadfast love is before [our] eyes, and [we] walk in your faithfulness” {from my birthday Psalm, 26}. Entirely unexpectedly, we received tzedakeh from friends… a generous gift that really surprised us! It’s not like we’re desperate – far from it! But this gift has a special purpose, something we couldn’t afford on our own. The experience left me humbled {yes, it’s ok to accept help} and grateful {what a mighty G-d we serve!} for yet another blessing.

Spent the weekend in Bristol, VA boating around Lake Holston with a cool crowd of people {grin}… and came back through Asheville for a birthday dinner at Posana Cafe, one of my all-time favorite places. Highly recommend the Spiced Chocolate-Salted Caramel Mousse Dome with strawberry anise sorbet – delicious! Loved having Peter and Mary with us for the trip… they were excellent company, polite guests, and a fun addition to our group. {grin}

Find myself reflective this morning, for a number of reasons… 1} reaching a quarter century is not something to be taken lightly; 2} Greg & I don’t have any birthday traditions yet, which kind of caught me off guard; 3} in the big picture, one’s second quarter century {age 25-50} is probably the most important one… an intimidating thought! Over coffee this morning we pictured the next 25 years being when we work the hardest, have the biggest responsibility {raising children}, and face the toughest times of our marriage. {eek} All the more reason to begin this day in prayer!

But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; redeem me, and be gracious to me. My foot stands on level ground; in the great assembly I will bless the L-RD.
-Psalm 26

=)

Ode to Joshua & Julianna

~

My sister Julianna is absolutely brilliant, especially when it comes to studying the Bible. In any Torah discussion, she’ll know every answer, plus a bunch of cool insights no one else has thought of. The fact that she doesn’t constantly display her knowledge only proves she’s also extremely humble. Besides brains, Julianna undeniably has beauty as well: her bright eyes, symmetrical features, and appealing dimples form an irresistible combination. She manages to look good in any picture, regardless of poor lighting, awkward poses, or any of the other factors us not-so-photogenic people worry about. {grin} Over the past few years, Julianna has developed into a true gourmand. Her talent for whipping up creative + flavorful dishes is seriously impressive; in fact, she’s earned the complimentary title “Iron Chef” through her dedication and continued success in the kitchen. She’s amazingly generous, proud of her heritage, fiercely loyal, classically witty, highly sentimental, and endlessly thoughtful.

In my opinion, Julianna deserves a pretty incredible guy {though admittedly I feel the same way about all of my sisters}, but I can honestly say Joshua fits the bill. He’s one of the smartest and most articulate men I know. One of the neatest things about Joshua is his family – he is truly the “scion of a righteous, truthful, sin-fearing generation” {Prayer for a Suitable Mate}. 

Joshua and Julianna, we praise G-d for bringing you together. We can’t wait to see how your relationship develops, and we pray that the two of you will find favor before the Holy One. May He protect you from temptation and lead you along the path of righteousness as you prepare for a life together. We love you both!

the happy couple

=)

Note: check out Julianna’s post about her courtship!

16 Weeks

Wednesday night we enjoyed a fabulous dinner with our new friends, Tony & Marie. We went back to Brixx because of their yummy gluten-free pizza {this time I tried the wild mushroom & arugula}. After dinner we went to Cold Stone next door and then continued our conversation by the scenic Blakeney fountains. Can’t believe how much we have in common with this couple! I was hoping Greg would hit it off with Marie’s husband Tony, and sure enough he did! The guys talked business, handguns, moral standards, and the testimony of a changed life; Marie & I discussed protecting children, birth control {the current hot topic}, and our daily routines – just to name a few subjects that came up. We’re looking forward to many more occasions together!!

I think “modern conservatives” might be a good description of them… a couple with definitive conservative standards yet still part of society – sparkling with love for others, “the hope of glory,” and faith in the Holy One of Israel. That description applies to us too, B”H!

Other highlights of the week:
-fun afternoon with Christine! {hug} entertainment + omelettes + box seats at a Vista Park resident cookout + banana chocolate teff bread. {!}
-trip to Williams Sonoma to get a few things for mom & use our gift card… they were running a huge sale. Love that store!
-allocated Greg’s vacation days for the rest of 2011… going to spend a few days with the Bartos clan in Crossville TN next month – fun!
-had an awesome Shabbat guest… we pulled a few strings to have my brother over, partially because we wanted to thank him for improving the performance of my laptop + we just love when he’s here. {grin}
-finally made the famous chicken piccata recipe from Ina Garten {the Barefoot Contessa} passed along by my grandfather. He and Ina are pretty close… she let him test out the recipe. {jk} It was amazing!! Gluten-free + kosher {substituting smart balance for the butter}… WOW.
-spent our last Shabbat with Bella Torah for a while… services resume in the middle of August, giving the Squicciarini famiglia a nice break. Had some fascinating commentary from portion Korach!
-cool blessing this week: no sooner had we decided to clean up our bookshelves {I had a copy of Chocolat, which is full of charms/spells, basically witchcraft, while Greg owned Perfume… enough said} than Greg’s dad came across a man giving away 9 boxes of books! We went over and picked out a handful of good ones to fill in the empty places on our bookcase. {grin} Greg found an original copy of Winston Churchill’s “The Gathering Storm” which he’s thrilled about. My husband has become a serious Churchill fan in the past few weeks.

Tonight wrapped up 16 weeks of married life with another dinner, this one at Maggiano’s Little Italy in Southpark with Greg’s family, as we celebrated my birthday {coming up on July 6} + Greg’s parents’ anniversary! I wore my “Bahamian sundress,” a gift from Greg on our honeymoon. The food was delicious – Greg & I both had gluten-free pasta, and our waiter even brought us a flourless chocolate cake for dessert! {this has been an unusually food-filled post… hmm} It was a really nice time. I am so glad my sister-in-law could be there – Adriah has a crazy work schedule and we don’t get to see her often.

So, 16 weeks down. As we say to each other at random moments, “we are SO married.” {grin!}

=)