mother’s day {2012}

Sophia,

Today I celebrated Mother’s Day for the first time, simply because of you. You’re the only person in the world who can call me mommy. Being your mother, over these past two months, has been both challenging and deeply rewarding.

To me you symbolize hope… a new life brimming with potential. I have a passionate desire for you to avoid the mistakes I’ve made, to be stronger and better and wiser than me. My beautiful daughter, no mother could love her baby more than I love you. May G-d protect your innocence and turn your heart toward Him. May He grant me the privilege of one day seeing you become a mother yourself.

{hug}

=)

 

baby pictures!

Please excuse my absence from blogging! I haven’t disappeared… just enjoying each day with my baby girl. Sophia Ruth is 7 weeks old today! I told her this morning that it seems like only yesterday we were at the hospital and I was holding her for the first time. She is already looking much older… her face is filling out and she is starting to get chubby. {grin} Her hair has almost entirely fallen out, except for a funny looking fringe in the back, and we suspect it might grow back in blonde.

This Sunday I am celebrating Mother’s Day! Hard to believe. Last year at this time I wasn’t even pregnant. Two years ago I was still single! Motherhood is indescribably fulfilling… having another person rely on you for everything creates such a sense of worth and purpose. I cannot wait for my sisters to share this experience. {hug}

Enjoy the pictures… we haven’t done an “official” photoshoot yet, but these are a few I’ve taken with my phone over the past few weeks.

=)

the story

Sophia’s birth was entirely unlike what I was planning. This is just a fact, not a complaint… as I hold my beautiful baby, nothing matters except that she is here.

Her story begins with my water breaking at 9.30 on Wednesday night. Finally. We drove to the birth center an hour later. For the next few hours, I labored quietly in a lovely room there. Around 7am Thursday morning we switched to the birth pool, and by noon, I was fully dilated. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy to push Sophia out, even though she was already quite low. As the afternoon continued, we tried a variety of different positions and techniques, without further progress. By 7pm it was getting close to 24 hours since my water broke, and we had to consider the option of transferring to a hospital. At 9pm we decided it would be best to transfer while Sophia and I were still in good condition… the midwives were checking her heartbeat every few minutes to make sure it stayed strong.

When we arrived at CMC Pineville, the hospital was locked down with a “code pink,” but after a few minutes they unlocked the doors and let us in. Although I’m a huge advocate of unassisted childbirth, I opted for an epidural because my body was exhausted. The epidural gave me a chance to rest for about an hour before starting to push again around 1am. Two hours later, Sophia was born, and we couldn’t have been happier to see her! She leapt into the world, making up for lost time, and greeted us with loud cries from a set of surprisingly powerful lungs. Our little girl was completely healthy, even after being poked and prodded for so many hours during labor. It turned out that the cord was wrapped twice tightly around her neck, which might have been part of the difficulty giving birth.

We marvel at what a work of art she is, so carefully formed by our Creator… truly the greatest blessing we’ve been given in this world.

I am still finding out how many people were praying for us during my long labor! Those prayers were incredibly effective – I have no doubt that G-d’s strength was the reason we made it though the entire time to a successful delivery without serious complications. He gave me endurance far beyond my capacity. There was a moment when I felt like G-d wasn’t listening, just because things weren’t working out the way I wanted, but He was in control all along… and His plan is perfect, far better than mine.

I love my baby! She fills my heart with love and gratitude for such a gift.

=)

smile

Sophia Ruth, a few hours after she was born

a picture, finally! Some of you are probably mystified why it’s taken me this long to get a photo posted! There’s an easy answer: SLEEP. {grin}

highlights of Sophia’s first two weeks of life:

• about a thousand feedings {grin!}
• visits from all of her Squicciarini aunts {& a few soon-to-be uncles} + both grandma’s
• first time outdoors – a walk to the mailbox with me
• a special blessing from her daddy at Erev Shabbat dinner
• visits to both the Bartos & Squicciarini grandparents
• more presents than she could imagine
• two checkups at the birth center
• the arrival of her social security card {yes, she’s in the system now…}

=)

the start of something new

My baby girl is one week old today! For the past week, my life has completely revolved around a tiny bright-eyed berry. She has the most adorable hiccups… she sticks her tongue out at almost everything & everyone… her facial expressions keep us laughing… her legs are unexpectedly long & slender… she is delightfully snuggly… every day there are new things to observe about her!

Greg has been amazing this week. He has cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, & kept me company during midnight feedings – surpassing my expectations in so many ways. He’s taken fantastic care of both his girls!

=)

birth announcement!

We are thrilled to announce the arrival of our daughter Sophia Ruth Bartos, born Friday March 23 at 2.54am. She is 8lb 4oz and 20.5″ tall. It is with indescribable gratitude that we praise G-d for a {beautiful} healthy baby girl!

Yesterday and today we’ve been simply enjoying time together as a brand new family… pretty much unplugged. It’s been wonderful! Most of you have probably heard bits and pieces of Sophia’s birth story {from Facebook, Twitter, or family members}, but I’ll post a more detailed version first chance I get!

Note: I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of encouragement, prayer, and support we received from friends all over. THANK YOU all so much!! We love you!

=)

3.16.12

Still pregnant.

Alternating between wild elation {ANY DAY NOW!!!} and depressed frustration {WHY is it taking so long to have this baby?!} on a day to day basis. Maintaining a stable emotional level is not as easy as one might think at 41 weeks of pregnancy. Even though, really, I know this little berry will come at just the right time, the uncertainty is still tough! Especially when we have to start talking about options for how to proceed next week {41 weeks + 5 days is the unofficial cut off}.

Waiting is actually incredibly helpful… I’m so ridiculously excited about meeting this baby girl that I’ll be thrilled when labor starts, instead of nervously anticipating the pain ahead. {grin}

Greg used the expression “single parents” to refer to us recently, as in “This could be the last party we go to as single parents!” which I thought was hilarious, since we’re married… and it ended up being hard to describe our current state! Childless parents doesn’t work, because we kind of have a child… and a married couple is close, but technically we’ll always be a married couple… so we gave up and decided it doesn’t really matter anyway. {grin}

Ready for a quiet day tomorrow, savoring peaceful moments with my wonderful husband…

=)

I shall thank Adonai wholeheartedly, for I have completed nine months of pregnancy, and Adonai has thus far helped me and rescued me from evil mishaps that can strike a pregnant woman and her fetus. O Beneficent One, Whose compassions are never exhausted, I therefore beseech You for mercy that You sustain and support me when Raspberry comes to be born, and grant me strength when I give birth to her. Please Adonai! Sustain me that I may be saved, preserve me from sorrows, such that the baby emerge from me for peace, life, and relief. May there not be in her nor in any of her limbs any damage or deficit – neither mishap nor happenstance, neither illness nor affliction, neither pangs nor pain, neither plague nor sickness. Prepare milk in my breasts to nurse her, and grant me the favor of raising her for Your service and Your reverence. 

Adonai, hear my voice when I call, be gracious to me and answer me. Hear, Adonai, and favor me; Adonai, be my Helper! May the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, Adonai, my Rock and my Redeemer.

-Artscroll Ohel Sarah Women’s Siddur, p. 1005, my adaption

3.14.12

Day 3 of the Raspberry watch…

Had an appointment with Leigh today, and everything looks great! I am feeling really good. The days are going by pretty quickly, and as I get things done I keep thinking “wouldn’t have had the chance to do this if we’d had a baby last Sunday!” The instructions are to stay well-fed, well-hydrated, and well-rested until labor starts. Easy. {grin}

Decided I am not nearly miserable enough to try any drastic methods of self-induction {like castor oil}. I can at least wait until 41 weeks, and even then we’ll see. So ready to hold my baby though!! {& see if this whole nursing business is going to be as tricky as it sounds…}

Appreciate the continual encouragement from friends… I’ve had some really sweet messages and emails!

Recent conversation-
Greg {politely}: “Sweetie, there’s a knife in the dishwasher with the blade pointing up… do you know who might have put it there?”
Me {innocently}: “Probably Raspberry.”
Greg {horrified}: “You can’t blame an unborn child!“

=)

Note: so far, Raspberry has not been a Purim baby nor a Pi baby… still a chance for the Ides of March tomorrow, and after that looms the annoyingly green shadow of St. Patrick’s day {which would be totally fine, of course, because it’s my mom’s birthday}.

3.12.11

Still waiting… {grin}

Finished my labor book today! It has a bunch of visually motivating pictures, with room for journaling thoughts during labor if I feel like it. A huge thank you to Julianna, Christine, and my mother-in-law Jeannine Bartos for showing they cared by taking the time to select + contribute pictures for me! Meanwhile, Mary has made me a 4-part playlist on iTunes, starting with energizing songs for the initial stage of labor and concluding with sweet, softer music for when the berry meets us. {!}

The amazingly friendly people at Trader Joe’s have sent me a lovely pink orchid in celebration of Raspberry! {via Julianna, who has been doing my grocery shopping} LOVE it!

Spending the rest of this evening with my darling husband, still just the two of us…

=)

3.11.12

Raspberry Day!

As I suspected, we didn’t get to meet Raspberry today. {sigh} I was hoping she might be among the 4% of babies who arrive on their due dates… but that’s ok. Greg made this such a fun day for me though! We cooked and cleaned together, took a walk around the park and a nap, had lunch al fresco, and spent the evening at my parents’ house where Julianna had planned an entertaining girls’ night. In between all this was Twitter chatter about how I was doing. {grin} Thankfully there weren’t any emails of inquiry, although it was a treat to get a few messages from far-away friends! {please don’t email to ask if I’ve had the baby yet. When I do, it will be posted right here, and until then, it only increases the feeling of impatience!}

Needless to say, I am so EXCITED about the week ahead!

baby trivia…

• we have a stuffed monkey sleeping in Raspberry’s crib, dressed in a white onesie.
• Greg has never changed a diaper.
• whenever I do important things like taking a shower or vacuuming the house, I think “this could be the last time…”
• I put up a shelf the other day, to hold wipes & stuff, and then it fell off the wall while I was showing it to Greg later.
• I have started to wear the same black yoga pants every day, which is something I had promised myself would never happen. {but they are so comfy…}
• now that the due date has officially passed, we’re starting to hear all kinds of ideas about encouraging labor to start! Apparently my in-law-in-laws, the Spurlocks, claim broccoli is a fail-proof method {eating it, I mean}. Right now I’m all about letting things take their course naturally, but as the week goes on I may change my mind about that. {wink}

=)

3.10.12

Tuesday was our highly anticipated one year anniversary {3.6.12}, celebrating 365 blissful days of married life. This anniversary has been such a “high” point: we are delighted with each other, our life together, and especially the blessing of a child. I hope subsequent years are as good as this one!

We gave the anniversary a French theme, which included “Le Breakfast” at Le Peep, an attempt at {pregnant} Parisian style on my part, watching old movies set in France, and a truly gourmet dinner cooked by my husband {wild mushroom crêpes, potatoes au gratin, endive salad with champagne pear vinaigrette, & chocolate mousse… superb!}.

I couldn’t believe how many people remembered the day… merci beaucoup to everyone who sent us congratulations! My family actually called to sing us “Happy Anniversary” {which I’m pretty sure is a song we made up…}, and our friends on the Twitterverse tweeted anniversary greetings throughout the day. Greg & I had agreed to skip gift-giving, intending our anniversaries to be more about time with each other, but he surprised me with two pretty cool presents! One was a fun little Bodum French press, fitting perfectly with our theme, and the other was a cool Elfa system from the Container Store {solving the serious problem of how to organize our pantry now that it holds a washer & dryer}. Greg is, in short, the most thoughtful husband I can imagine! How could anyone not envy me…

I can hardly comprehend that tomorrow is March 11, Raspberry Day. I have small hope of the berry coming on her due date, but who knows? Greg is off from work tomorrow so we can spend the day together and take our minds off the imminent birth of our daughter. {grin} We will be keeping this site current with updates about what’s going on in the next few days.

=)

3.4.12

Well, I’m 39 weeks pregnant today. {!!} That’s more accurate than saying “1 week to go!!!” because we all know babies rarely appear on their due dates. {grin} However, my husband generously took the day off from work next Sunday to spend it with me, so it would be pretty convenient if Raspberry was born on schedule.

In the last three days, I’ve had the following comments from strangers:

“Don’t have that baby right here!” {while walking in the park}
“You’re all baby!”
“That baby’s ready to come!”
“Must be pretty close – you’ve definitely dropped!”

Thinking back over the pregnancy, I have to marvel at how truly wonderful it has been and praise G-d for that! I’m amazed at how He has taken care of me along the way. It has literally been the perfect pregnancy – every single check-up was a good report about my blood pressure, weight, and health + Raspberry’s heartbeat, size, and position. The nausea I had in the first couple of weeks was so slight I can’t even bring myself to complain about it, and since then only two “issues” have come up: the first was when a test of my hemoglobin came back surprisingly low at the end of December, and we needed to quickly bring it up in the last two months {I’ve been taking a few supplements, with absolutely no bad side effects or problems absorbing the iron, and my last blood test showed a safe hemoglobin level!}; the second issue was a sudden onset of sciatica in the middle of January, which lasted exactly two weeks and then left as abruptly as it started {I can only assume the berry was shifting positions around that time}. Although sciatica was tough to deal with, in G-d’s timing it coincided with Madison Hackett’s visit here – and I think we developed a deeper bond as friends because of how supportive + encouraging she was as I hobbled around. {grin} So that was really a blessing!

Speaking of Madison, we have decided {after careful consideration} to give her the position of an honorary aunt for Raspberry. So the berry has Aunt Julianna, Aunt Christine, Aunt Mary, Aunt Adriah, and Aunt Madison. {Five! That’s a bunch.}

Anyway, I don’t know why the whole experience has been so good… perhaps this is G-d’s encouragement to have more children. Or maybe the hardest part is yet to come. {grin} Greg is SO excited about the actual birth – he has been eagerly reading The Birth Partner and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way in preparation for his important role. As I start to get nervous, he is growing more confident. Again, this seems part of G-d’s plan… Greg is just the right person to get me and my famous “low pain tolerance” through the physically demanding work of natural childbirth. {hug!}

=)

In breaking news, my parents just called to say they bought a Pack n’ Play {Eddie Bauer, of course}. Rumor has it Julianna will be crashing on the couch while her bedroom is turned into a nursery for the grandchild/ren. {grin}

2.26.12

38 weeks today! I am happy to announce Raspberry Bartos is a full term baby now. She can arrive whenever… let me emphasize that, whenever… she feels ready. Basically any day now. I have started to give her little pep talks about coming out into the world.

It looks like she is going to be larger than we thought – my baby bump has grown significantly in the last 2 weeks! {Leigh measured it this past Wednesday at my appointment.} Mums came with me this time to see the birth center and meet my two wonderful midwives, Leigh and Jackie.

The little berry had her first encounter with the second amendment today… we attended a 9-hour class to get our concealed carry weapons permit. Though I don’t currently own a handgun, Greg thought we should take advantage of the opportunity to get our permits together. It was excellent, entirely due to our instructor, Joe Balich! Highly recommend his class. The only part I haven’t done yet is the actual practice {proficiency test}, because we didn’t want to scare Raspberry with gunshots. {grin}

=)

2.23.12

The babymoon was a huge success… the most relaxing + delightful two days we’ve spent together in a while! Certainly an idea we’d recommend to other couples about to have their first child.

Sunday morning we packed overnight bags {bright Vera ‘Weekender’ for me; masculine leather duffel for Greg} and headed uptown after lunch. We arrived at the Westin – recognized the lobby where we spent some memorable time last year tweeting about our wedding – checked in, and took the elevator to the top! Greg had pulled a few strings to get us the Presidential Suite… a mind-boggling amount of space, plus incredible views of the city from three sides. For dinner, Greg took me to Vivace on Metropolitan Avenue, a restaurant I’ve wanted to try since we got married last year! We both ordered delicious gluten-free entrees and then shared dessert…  Greg, true to form, had arranged for berry sorbet in the shape of a baby bump to magically appear at our table. {!}

For evening entertainment, we watched The Ten Commandments, which Greg had never seen. {Julianna’s response to this plan: “You’re taking Charlton Heston with you on the babymoon??”} It’s an excellent film, of course. And it fit so well with our portion readings in Exodus the past few weeks! At first, I thought it was hilarious that we would bring The Ten Commandments on a romantic getaway, but on second thought it’s proof of how we have adapted our lifestyle for the responsibilities of parenthood – in this case, with family-friendly films.

While we were having breakfast in bed Monday morning, I found pictures on my phone from when we did the same thing last year, the morning after our wedding, at the same hotel! {Not surprisingly, my husband ordered the same breakfast. He is a man of habit indeed.} Later we visited the gorgeous Westin workout facilities, where I walked a slow half mile while Greg ran effortlessly on the treadmill next to me. {How does someone with a desk job stay so fit… that’s what I want to know.}

We had no schedule on Monday… just a blissful day of enjoying each other’s company. We ended up having a late lunch at Fuel {vintage pizza place uptown} where we split a gluten-free pie, ate with our fingers, sipped soda, and totally felt like two teenagers. {grin} Between bites we talked about the ways Raspberry will affect our lives, from social events to budgeting. It’s hard to have an accurate picture of exactly how our lives will change! But we’ve agreed to view these changes as good, not like we’re missing out on anything because of the privilege of raising a child.

It seemed appropriate to pick up a gift for the berry, since she was very much the focus of our trip, so we went to several baby stores at the mall and found something cute for her. It was an odd feeling – on the one hand, this was a chance for us to have time “alone,” before kids… knowing that it will never be quite like this again, but on the other hand, we are constantly aware of Raspberry’s presence! She did come with us. In fact, she’s always between us, if you know what I mean. She has a prenatally precocious way of waving her hands when she hears herself talked about. So it’s kind of impossible to see ourselves as simply a carefree married couple – we are a family of three, B”H.

Heading home Monday night, we thought the babymoon was over… but it wasn’t! Julianna had not ONLY made us dinner, but also prepared an elaborate cheese plate for us to snack on. {hug!} A perfectly thoughtful end to a perfectly splendid time.

=)

2.16.12

Last week was my second {& final!} baby shower, given by my darling sisters & a very sweet friend, Rachel Allison. It was an elegant evening affair with pink “princess” themed decorations, amazing gluten-free cupcakes from Cupcrazed in Baxter Village, and a giant bouquet of flowers! The group of ladies consisted mostly of my relatives {a surprisingly large crowd!} + a few close friends. It was a wonderful time! I received some VERY generous gifts, including a highchair, a breast pump, a sizable baby bathtub, and a beautiful nursing cover, not to mention adorable clothes & practical accessories for Raspberry. My friend Amelia even brought me a handmade pink knit baby hat! {wow}

My mom & sisters gave me a “gift certificate” for a month of meals, and this past Thursday they spent most of the day making + packaging food to stock my freezer with a wide variety of gourmet dinners for after the berry is born. What a big help!

Tomorrow I am 37 weeks {ahh! so close!} and feeling pretty good! Kind of like a small whale, but still able to get around… trying to walk as much as possible, stay hydrated, and get enough rest. The nesting instinct has kicked in – I’ve reorganized our closet, Raspberry’s dresser, all the kitchen cabinets + the bookcase. Next is the pantry. {grin}

=)

2.14.12

I like how our anniversary is close enough to Valentine’s Day that when we’re feeling more in love than ever and ready to celebrate a milestone, the rest of the world is too! We skipped today’s obsession with chocolate + flowers, but that doesn’t change the fact that Greg is my sweetheart and I love him very much. {hug!}

Interestingly, Julianna and her fiancé don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day either! As Greg said, must be a sign that our families will always be close. {so Christine, will the trend continue? -wink}

Raspberry & I went to a lovely luncheon in Southpark on Sunday, where we heard several excellent presentations on Biblical love and courtship. It was Julianna’s 5th year putting this event together, and {unfortunately} her final one, due to her upcoming wedding. She gave little Raspberry a special mention, echoing my own thoughts about how meaningful it is that my daughter could be present, in a way. I would have loved for the berry to attend a luncheon like this when she is older! I was honored to be there {technically only for single young ladies} as one of last year’s speakers, and had the privilege of hearing my mother share her wisdom with the girls present. Her talk was titled “It Doesn’t Just Happen,” an appropriately practical guide to becoming an ideal wife. Julianna shared from her own courtship experience, and her future mother-in-law spoke about understanding a guy’s perspective + adapting to his lifestyle. Raspberry loved being there, and we were both pleased about putting a cute outfit together! {black knit Express skirt, boots, and a cherry red sweater from Destination Maternity} Thanks to Mums and Julianna for continuing to lend me clothes… {grin}

According to my weekly pregnancy email, this is the time when the berry should be dropping {lightening}, making a noticeably lower bump. Waiting for developments…

=)

2.13.12

We’re in the final stretch! I’ve officially started my ninth month of pregnancy. {yay!} According to my Aunt Lynn, when there’s 4 weeks left most women are READY… and I’m just about at that point. This coming Sunday is our “safe date,” when I reach 37 weeks and we can safely deliver the berry at CCMC, instead of a hospital. So she can arrive anytime after Sunday and it’ll be fine with me!

Speaking of which, Greg & I are rapidly coming up on our one year anniversary {March 6}, and part of our celebration is a stay at the Westin this weekend + a full day together to relax and enjoy time alone. We’re considering this little getaway our “babymoon” {definition: one last fling before the responsibilities of parenthood}. I can’t wait! The Westin is where we spent our wedding night… definitely some special memories there {as well as the 3-hour wait which resulted in us being given this complimentary romance package}!

Our long search for a washer and dryer has ended – we were given a gorgeous brand-new set by my parents, in honor of their granddaughter’s birth! We are so grateful, and we could not be happier to do laundry in our own home for the first time. {grin} {who knew washing clothes could be such a gratifying experience?}

=)

1.30.12

“To some degree, the first pregnancy spells the end of carefree youth – very important to Americans. The maidenly figure goes gradually into eclipse, and with it goes sprightly grace. Both eclipses are temporary but very real. The woman realizes that after the baby comes there will be distinct limitations of social life and other outside pleasures. No more hopping into the car on the spur of the moment, going anywhere the heart desires and coming home at any odd hour. The same budget has to be spread thinner, and her husband’s attention, all of which has gone to her at home, will soon be going to two.”
-Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care, by Benjamin Spock, M.D & Michael Rothenberg, M.D.
{originally published 1945}

A profound quote from Dr. Spock… surprisingly accurate! I like how he describes the loss of “maidenly figure” and “sprightly grace.” Couldn’t have chosen better words myself. {grin}

Updates:
1. We have decided Raspberry will spend her first few weeks in a bassinet rather than our giant crib. This will save us space and be a LOT easier for me to use, as well as adding flexibility to our living arrangement by allowing us to move her around. The crib is safely tucked out of the way until she is ready for it.
2. Raspberry’s grandma {Mums} gave me a matching set of Vera Bradley diaper bags! There’s a smaller “purse” sized one for quick outings, and a much larger tote bag for day trips, both in the Very Berry print. Love them!! So we practiced this weekend by filling up the small bag and taking it to Bella Torah with us. {grin} I think we had everything we needed… with the obvious exception of the berry herself.
3. Speaking of which, we’re down to 6 weeks! Unbelievable how quickly she’ll be here.
4. Two important purchases need to be made in the next 6 weeks: first, a car seat; second, a washer & dryer. Both essential to living with an infant!
5. My appointments with Leigh have increased to every two weeks. I’ve gained 23 pounds so far, and recently had to get a few longer tops… even my maternity shirts were too short! Now I realize what my pregnancy books were saying about slowing down – it almost feels like I’m in slow motion. And the dreaded pregnancy waddle has arrived. {grin}

=)

1.23.12

A week ago, we had just said goodbye to our very first houseguests! Madison Hackett and her brother Cole came to stay with us for a few delightful days… and because they were so easygoing + amiable, we had no trouble fitting them in the apartment. {grin} Greg & I met the Hackett family at one of Tim Hegg’s conferences in Atlanta, November 2010. Madison and I have kept in touch through email ever since then. We enjoyed our guests so much – the visit seemed over too soon. The last night they were here, we had a fabulous time out at The Cowfish {sushi + burgers} with the Squicciarini 4 and a few other friends!

That same weekend we attended a double bar mitzvah down in Rock Hill, for Timothy and Isaac Gordon. It was a really neat ceremony! If Raspberry had turned out to be a blueberry after all, I would have probably felt more of a personal connection with the details – thinking ahead to when we would plan our own son’s bar mitzvah. But she is very much a girl. {yay!}

Then Sunday was my baby shower! My mother-in-law hosted a lovely afternoon shower for the ladies of Bella Torah. They brought me some beautiful gifts – adorable baby clothes, diapers, bath supplies, books, toys, a playpen, and even a handmade quilt! Greg’s mom gave me the cutest baby swing, which has a detachable bouncy seat, and we agreed that she’ll keep the swing at her house while I keep the seat {so Raspberry can watch while I cook dinner}.

It was a special treat to see my friend Autumn Munoz at the bar mitzvah and my baby shower – she’s visiting from her new home in Curaçao. Autumn is expecting a baby girl just a month after me {to be named Moriah Arielle}.

=)

1.10.12

Greg & I have our second childbirth class tonight at CCMC. We’ve started a 4-week series on natural birth led by Katia Neme. Last week was about the stages of labor, and the material was fascinating! {although I had to look away at one point during an educational film showing an actual birth… disturbingly graphic} Kat is a terrific instructor, very funny + charismatic! Sounds like she has some fun projects planned for the remainder of the series. Tonight we had an assignment to bring a “focus object” that we can use during labor. I have baby photos of Greg & I… but I might also include the famous balance for two picture, to remind me how special my little Raspberry is!

Feeling much more prepared mentally for the “agony & ecstasy” of birth… while trying to stay in good physical condition too.

Today the barista at Starbucks asked, “How much longer do you have?” “9 weeks,” I replied cheerfully. “Whoa, that much? You’re way out there!” he responded, with surprise. “9 weeks is nothing,” I informed him crisply. At that point he started backtracking, insisted I was “all baby,” and eventually gave me my decaf soy latte for free, out of guilt. Just another day in the life of a pregnant woman… {grin}

=)

1.9.12

Typical Bristol days are spent sitting around the fireplace reading, knitting, or talking {with soft French music in the background} interspersed with brisk walks outside or trips into town. SO relaxing! This tradition of a winter mini-retreat has become established over the last five years. {this year was the first time married people were included, meaning mom & me…} The current question is: what about next winter, when {B”H} I’ll have a 9-month-old? Are babies allowed? And what about multiple children? Would we all need to find babysitters for the weekend? Definitely something to think about now, before any of us really has children {you know what I mean}!

=)

1.8.12

It’s me! Still here, still pregnant. {wink} Blogging a pregnancy has been harder than I thought… seems like once everything else is taken care of, there’s no time {or energy!} left for posting. But here I am, getting closer and closer to the big day!

January 1 found me 30 weeks pregnant, with around 10 weeks to go until my March 11 due date. {!!!} Around here we’re starting to countdown the weeks… not out of desperation, just huge amounts of anticipation. {grin}

2011 was by far the most exciting + significant year of my life {married!!}, but it looks like 2012 will top last year {even if the world doesn’t end…} with the birth of my daughter. May she be a healthy, happy little girl who brings sparkle into our lives!

This morning I am headed up to Bristol VA with my mom + sisters for the annual Squicciarini girls retreat… the first separation Greg & I have had in our married life. {eek} We have 2 events to plan during our mini-vacation: a little baby shower for friends + extended family, and the “Raspberry Party” {a celebration for my family & Greg’s family to meet the berry when she’s born}. FUN!

=)

12.9.11

Updates!

• Raspberry is over 2lbs and 15″ long… what a big girl! {wink}
• She has her own dresser now, filled with a surprising amount of tiny clothes. She is slowly establishing a dainty feminine wardrobe. The dresser was another family project… everybody helped in getting it to my house. It was originally a $5 yard sale find, back when Mums & I used to yard sale. She and I had painted it a fresh minty green, and I’ve now repainted it a neutral cream color.
• My baby bump is 36″ around, in case you didn’t see that fact on Twitter. Somebody said to me the other day, “Oh, you’ve popped out!” {grin…}
• Alternating between confident “can’t wait to have a daughter” to flashes of doubtful “but this is lifechanging” thoughts… I think it’ll be the same as getting married: something that can’t be undone {!} and might seem like a big deal but you quickly realize it’s the best thing that ever happened to you.
• Completed my baby registry! I’ve registered for a few things at Buy Buy Baby in preparation for the baby shower my mother-in-law is giving me in January. It was tough to make decisions – I’m shocked how much baby stuff is out there! And how expensive!
• We did a little photoshoot with my sister Mary this week, and got a few “pregnant” pictures… really the first ones we’ve taken since there was a significant baby bump to see. {grin}

=)

11.27.11

Hope everyone had a fantastic time of Thanksgiving this week! Greg & I drove up to Bristol VA to spend a few days with my grandparents + extended family {Dave & Tina Stelzl}. It was so good to see everyone! Raspberry made her presence obvious, as usual. {grin}

We took some time on Friday afternoon to reflect on the ways G-d has blessed us, both major and minor things, and recognize His goodness to us. You know, I am very thankful for Raspberry. I love her SO much, already! But my biggest blessing is, without a doubt, Gregory Aaron Bartos.

Greg and I recently read “The Committed Marriage” by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis {an easy read which I highly recommend} and Rebbetzin Jungreis goes through five essential qualities for living a purposeful and meaningful life {the basis of a committed marriage}. The very first quality is having a good eye, meaning a benevolent and caring attitude – always seeing the good rather than the bad in others. She says:

There are two ways of looking at every situation. You can see light or darkness, blessing or curse. You can see the world with a good eye or a bad eye. Depending on which eye you choose, you can become either considerate or bitter, patient or angry, giving or niggardly, content or miserable, warm or cantankerous, loving or critical – it’s all contingent upon how you train your eye. And that is the legacy you leave behind. That is your eulogy.

At one time or another, we all experience events that are beyond our comprehension, events that may leave us feeling hopeless, cynical, and bitter. On such occasions, our good eye can infuse us with faith and fortify us with the knowledge that there must be a reason for what is happening, even if, for the moment, that reason eludes us. Most often, however, we allow these traumas to strip us of our faith and fill our hearts with anger and bitterness. But if we look at our predicament with a good eye, see our difficulties as challenges, as opportunities for growth, we will find something positive on which to focus. This holds true not only in time of crisis, but also in the normal ups and downs of life.

I am incredibly blessed, far beyond what I deserve, with a husband who has a good eye. Greg finds the good in everything, not only making me feel loved and treasured, but also setting an example for me of a positive outlook on life which consistently glorifies G-d. When it comes to our marriage, he sees his weaknesses + my strengths, as the sages describe…

{Man was given two eyes, so that with one, he should see his own faults, and with the other, he should see the virtues of others. -the Baal Shem Tov}

Greg, you always inspire me… I love you sweetheart!

=)

11.22.11

This post is WAY overdue… because I’m struggling to find words to express simply overwhelming gratitude to my family. Each one of them has contributed to making this pregnancy a stellar experience, every moment of it.

First of all, my sisters have consistently showered me with gifts over the past few months. I didn’t think my love language was gifts, but I’m starting to reconsider. {grin} I’m touched by their thoughtfulness every time, because they never ask if I *need* anything – they just send over a yummy snack or a little treat for me {I truly don’t lack for anything, so it’s not like there are pressing needs}. A couple months ago they came up with a creative way for us to learn about pregnancy together, which I’ve loved! {wink}

Individually, my sisters have been there for me as well. Mary comes over every Tuesday for our baby class, and she always looks for ways to help me while she’s there. Mary has mopped my kitchen floor, cleaned my bathroom tiles {what truer expression of love!}, organized my pantry, put away my off-season clothes, and moved heavy boxes for me so far – besides managing my nutrition, making me exercise, and taking candid pregnant pics! It’s a sweet part of my week to have her over and spend some quality time with her.

When I had a cold a few weeks ago, Christine showed up at my door with a care package {hot tomato soup, a glossy new Real Simple magazine, & a cute get-well card} that made me smile and feel a hundred times better. I think she masterminds most of the baking projects that find their way to me {banana cookies, homemade macaroni & cheese, gluten-free brownies}… and when we were wondering how to fit a potentially giant pile of baby accessories in the apartment, she took on the challenge of drawing diagrams and sketching out the best way to use our space. Christine took me on my first *long* walk {4 miles at the Trader Joe’s greenway} and that walk inspired me to aim for 2 miles a day at our local park. Most recently, she found a knitting pattern for a cozy sweater I could wear this winter, and made it for me!* It’s raspberry-colored, of course. {grin} Christine is naturally upbeat, a real party girl, and I always look forward to her newest bright idea for social events.

*note: everyone generously chipped in for the yarn

Julianna is busy with her own EXCITING plans, of course, {!!} but she still manages to be a part of the pregnancy experience. I love how she always greets me with an enthusiastic hug and the exclamation “loved one!” {grin} Julianna made a weekly walking date with me for early Wednesday mornings, which has been a great opportunity to catch up with each other! Two weeks ago, we invited Julianna and her fiancé over for Erev Shabbat dinner, and Julianna insisted on bringing the entire meal for us so I didn’t have to cook. Amazing!

It is one of the greatest joys in my life right now to see how involved my sisters are with Raspberry, even before she makes her entrance into the world! They are so genuinely pleased about having a niece, while I am thrilled about the influence these righteous women will have on my daughter.

My brother’s reaction to the pregnancy has perhaps been the most unexpected. He hasn’t had much exposure to babies, and I wasn’t sure, initially, if he would feel a personal connection to Raspberry, or merely observe her from a detached distance. To my delight, he entered the baby preparations wholeheartedly– and in his understated way I think he’s just as excited as I am. {grin} He has educated himself on pregnancy, coming out with interesting trivia and unusual facts every now and then. Peter even surprised me with a generous offer to babysit once a week, so Greg & I could have some time to ourselves! {I can totally see him holding little Raspberry and explaining the basics of public key cryptography to her [using raspberries instead of avocados, naturally] while she looks up at him thoughtfully…} A couple months ago, Peter did an entire load of laundry for me at his house, folded it, and personally brought it over on his lunch break. I couldn’t believe it! He is unfailingly helpful and caring. {hug}

When it comes to my mom, the question is where to start! Seems like her goal is to always send me home with something useful – from fresh homegrown veggies to coupons to clothes from her own stylish closet. I’ve consulted her on innumerable points about pregnancy/childbirth, and she has patiently replied to every question with {as usual} down-to-earth advice. Even though I don’t live at The Residence anymore, I feel like Mums still takes care of me. I loved a comment she made when we were talking about the new year ahead {around Rosh HaShanah}, about feeling like she would be losing Julianna this year but replacing her with Raspberry, in a sense. {grin} It is so wonderful to know that my mom truly wants to be around her grandchildren and play a key part in their upbringing.

Recently Mums joined a cute ladies gym in Matthews and gave me a class pass so we could go together. I’m really enjoying taking a couple of classes there each week!

Last but not least, my dad is exuberant about the birth of his first grandchild {which means telling everyone about it}. In fact, he already put up a playset in the backyard for “the grandchildren” {months ago!}. My dad is always considerate about including Greg & I in whatever the family is doing. I can tell he already loves Raspberry, and I can’t wait to see him with her.

In conclusion, a HUGE thank you to my family – I love each of you very much!

=)

11.17.11

The birth center I’m using offers classes on three different “birth methods:” Lamaze, Bradley, and hypnobirthing. I’ve been told we need to choose one, and then study with an instructor in preparation for birth. So far I’ve read an overview of each one… and I’m really leaning toward the Bradley Method. “Husband-coached childbirth,” viewing birth as a natural process, believing that natural {drug-free} childbirth is the best way to achieve healthy babies + healthy mothers… doesn’t that sound perfect?

I’d like to go through a book with Greg, to get some more information, and eventually take a few classes together.

=)

11.16.11

Noticed I’ve started to think in terms of we rather than me, as in “We’re going to the grocery store today.” Getting used to the idea of doing everything with someone else, which is probably great preparation for taking a baby everywhere! Making a conscious effort to savor my “alone” time now, knowing it will be rare in a few months. {grin}

Last night, for the first time, Greg and I sat in bed and watched my stomach move! I’ve been feeling a lot of movement, but I didn’t realize you could actually see Raspberry’s little kicks and wiggles until now. Yet another amazing experience of pregnancy…

So there are pregnant women all over the place, strangely enough. Either most of Charlotte got pregnant this summer, or it’s one of those mind things {you buy a red car and all the sudden you notice tons of people have red cars}. I still feel like it’s kind of a personal journey though. It would have been fun to meet regularly with a friend and talk about our pregnancies… that didn’t happen this time, but I’m hoping it does in the future with one of my sisters. {grin} With three of them, the chances are pretty good.

=)

11.7.11

Greg & I just had our first “baby name” session! We went through the letters A-L in our name book, testing them out loud and making a list of ones to consider. This is going to be really tricky… I’m feeling some pressure to choose the right name for our baby girl.

When it comes to secular names, Greg likes Anastasia, while I’ve always been partial to Charlotte. We agreed that the Hebrew name Ariel {Lion of G-d} is beautiful – too bad it’s been stolen by a mermaid.

I’m getting the sense that this particular baby name book is more classical/traditional, instead of unusual/modern, which we might lean towards. I have one friend who just named her daughter Ember Sky, plus another planning to use Kai Elise… and they didn’t find those names in this book, I can tell you. So when the book is done we might move our search to Google.

It’s amazing, by the way, how many familiar girls’ names come from mythological characters! Quite startling.

The funniest name we saw was Lotus. We tried it out: Lotus Bartos. “This is our daughter, Lotus.” “Lotus, are you ready for lunch?” “Lotus, it’s naptime.” Hilarious! {grin} Not to make fun of anyone actually named Lotus. I believe the flowers are lovely.

=)

11.3.11

My second prenatal visit at Carolina Community Maternity Center {CCMC} was last Wednesday, and this is probably a good time to bring you all up to date on our decision about a care provider! We have chosen to work with a midwife at CCMC and deliver Raspberry there, B”H. After carefully evaluating all the facts, seeking guidance from family, and asking direction from G-d, we are confident this is the best option for us.

I am still getting to know Leigh {my midwife}, but so far we have had two excellent visits. She is friendly and down-to-earth in a calm, capable way… reminding me a little bit of my Aunt Tina because she is extremely level-headed and basically knows all the answers. {grin} Leigh is also impressively prompt with emails. Here is a recent exchange:

Me: Leigh, I’ve been told I should be drinking a gallon of water each day. Is this true?  That seems like a lot. Wouldn’t it depend on the size of a person? Help!

Leigh: A gallon a day!  That’s quite the overstatement!  Half a gallon a day is plenty, and that’s assuming you aren’t getting much fluid otherwise.  My advice is to carry water with you at all times and drink whenever you get thirsty.  When you drink something, try to make it water as often as possible.  Never quench your thirst with a sugary drink.  (If you want to sip on something sweet, do it after you’ve drunk water, so you’re not tempted to take too much.)  All the liquid in your diet contributes to your overall hydration, so things like fruits and veggies and soups may decrease the amount of water you need.  Of course different body sizes have different needs, and any one-size-fits-all recommendation is not going to be exact.  Listen to your body.  Don’t over-hydrate because of numbers.  Drink lots of water, but because it feels good to do so, not to meet an arbitrary level.

See? Excellent common sense. {grin}

At the visit last week, we talked about the standard glucose test for gestational diabetes and ended up deciding to skip the test because it is extremely unlikely that I have gestational diabetes. This is what I like about midwives: flexibility, not “by the book” mentality.

=)

10.25.11

WE’RE HAVING A GIRL!!!

The ultrasound experience last night was wonderful! We went to 3D Dreams in Baxter Village, Fort Mill {recommended by my midwife, Leigh Fransen}, and the two ladies there were SO friendly. They are 99% sure little Raspberry Bartos is a girl. {grin} So it turns out we have a pink berry after all.

We watched our daughter move around, stretch her arms up, open her mouth… we heard her heartbeat… it was truly amazing! To think we were seeing inside the womb – what a miracle of technology. The images were so clear it almost felt like we could reach out and touch her.

After the ultrasound we visited both our families to share the news with them {plus a bunch of pictures} and celebrate – first a stop in Fort Mill to visit Greg’s mom and sister, and then over to Matthews to see my family {including Julianna’s fiancé, who was -not surprisingly- there as well}. My sisters had come up with an idea to “toast” to the baby, using… toast! And really, nothing beats crisp toast with butter + raspberry jam and hot tea as an evening snack. {grin} They also gave us our first PINK item, a tiny bib from Life is Good!

Now –> to come up with the perfect name. Yes, we are taking suggestions. So far we have received “Josephina,” from my mom, which may have been a joke.

=)