Sir Gregory & Lady Morgan

Castle McCulloch: view from the Crystal Garden

Place: Castle McCulloch, a quasi-historical site in the small town of Jamestown, on the outskirts of Greensboro, NC.

Background: Greg and I stumbled across the Castle McCulloch website a few months ago, and couldn’t resist going to check it out. The place is an hour and a half north of Charlotte, up Hwy 85. The distance initially discouraged me, but the pictures online were so unique and picturesque that we thought a visit was worth it.

Story: We drove up to Jamestown last Wednesday afternoon, took exit 113 into the middle of nowhere, and ended up going through a metal archway labeled “CASTLE MCCULLOCH.” Apparently they do some kind of gemstone panning there as well. We parked, walked down a hill, and to our surprise (well, mine at least) there was a castle… looking somewhat out of place – not only anachronistic, of course, but also not quite real. Almost like a toy castle. It didn’t look big enough to be a real one. My thought was ‘so which one of the North Carolina landowners broke the mold and built a castle instead of the typical Southern plantation?’ {Answer: unfortunately, none of them}.

We went inside (over the drawbridge!) and upstairs, as instructed, to meet with Paulette, the event coordinator. She greeted us warmly with the news that our wedding date was not available – Castle McCulloch is already booked for March 6. I thought Greg was about to start crying. {wink} He hasn’t learned yet that you have to be tough around wedding venues. Never let them know what you’re thinking. We tried to regroup – “is your date set in stone?” Paulette asked, seemingly unaware of how humorous that question would be in retrospect. “We have March 13 available,” she told us. “It’s a very nice date.” I tried to picture having March 13 as my anniversary. Then I had an idea… 3-13-11: Marriage of the Primes {it’s a math reference}. We decided to go ahead and look around.

Paulette took us downstairs to Option 1: the Great Hall, a long dim room trying its best to be stately. A suit of armor (named Fred, as we found out) stood prominently in the center. From there we descended to Option 2: the Dungeon, which the clever Castle McCulloch PR people have renamed “the Queen’s Chamber.” We made a few neutral remarks about the Queen’s Chamber and attempted to ignore the slight musty smell. The entire place was filled with mirrors, adding to the fake feeling. Everyone knows medieval people never looked in the mirror. I think they were still using polished bronze or something.

Next we headed to Option 3: The Crystal Garden, a round building adjacent to the main castle structure. There was an ostentatious chandelier but I would be willing to bet that it is not in fact crystal, so the name seems a bit misleading. Regardless, the Crystal Sauna would have been a more appropriate name, since their AC was off and the building was over 100 degrees. We stood in sweaty puddles while Paulette made sweeping gestures about chair placement and entrances. Afterwards, we returned to her office, expressed our ambivalence about the three options, and examined the pricing chart. Yay for March, least popular time of the year to get married! Yay for Sundays, least popular day of the weekend to get married! Paulette was kind enough to print out price lists for every different variation of booking Castle McCulloch as a venue.

First impression: This could either be very cool or very cheesy…

Thoughts: I don’t think Castle McCulloch is a viable option for us, sadly. It’s one of those things where you don’t really consider it at first, and then all the sudden you can visualize how cool it would be, and then after a little research it turns out you were right all along – it’s not going to work. The drive is so long, and I would prefer to stay in Charlotte or the nearby surrounding area. The castle prices are reasonable, but space would be a little tight – I think they’re designed for smaller groups. 100 people seemed about all they could handle comfortably. Plus there’s the whole matter of our date. We have our hearts set on March 6!

Conclusion: That was a fun little road trip. I think a high school graduation ceremony would be amazingly cool at Castle McCulloch. You could “knight” the graduate, take his picture next to Fred, and have a pretty decent party afterwards.

=)

Castle McCulloch: the Great Hall